Happy or Sad, that seems to be the question.....

It has been quite some time, yet I don't have internet at home and don't really have anywhere to get on the internet without the kids saying, MOM, MOM, MOM. So you ask where I am right now, I am sitting in my brothers house at almost midnight blogging about my fears..... 

The last 8 months have been a crazy hot mess, and for a couple of weeks I thought that I had distanced myself from alittle of it, and yet I feel an anxiety attack awaiting..... After one too many horrible text messages from David and outrageous screaming on the phone I chose to block his number from my phone two weeks ago, coming to the conclusion that he had not called his kids once in 6 weeks, why would he start now. So I did it. So now it had been 8 weeks and he had spoken to them once cuz I forced him to by showing up at his house for fifteen minutes and making him spend alittle time with them while I was in town. So we are at eight weeks and the arising issue of my kids keep coming up for a couple of days with wanting to talk with him, so I let them call him and what happens, he makes plans with them on the phone to go camping without asking me. So yes, if I don't let them go I am the bad guy. And the whole reason he hasn't been allowed to have his kids overnight is cuz of the HORRIBLE mess his house was and they were sleeping on floors. So I buckled and let them go knowing that his parents would be there and they would be feeding them. So as the day goes on, he kept putting off coming to get them, yet figured out a way on the internet to call my phone through a computer service from his phone. Jack Ass. No rush or hurry to get the kids, yet had time for that...... Then proceeds to call me and start a fight with me and get me all worked up. Then shouts, fine he isn't coming to get them........ WHY, why do I keep putting myself in these positions..... Long story short, it took my brother calling him to put alittle fear in him, to get him to realize that his kids are the most important thing and to drop the shit and take care of things. He finally shows up almost 10 hours later to get them, yet I had to meet him somewhere cuz he is afraid of my family and he just ruins my whole day....... Then icing on the cake. He says, he has plans in cleveland and he will have to bring them back after one day of visiting with them......