Where did summer go????

I cannot believe that November 1st is in 4 days..... Yet November is bringing something so wonderful, the 3 little additions to our family. Matt & Terri are having the babies monday at 1030am. I am so excited for them. They have been waiting for such a long time. I just can't wait to hold a little infant again, and spoil them rotten.

Ashtin is turning 7 next weekend. This year he decided that he wanted to have a friend only party, which I was happy about. That is so much cheaper.... Feeding our family and friends is not cheap. So we are doing a Halloween theme party and the kids are dressing up and going on a hayride. I had to invite his whole class, so we'll see who comes.... Please don't let it be all 23........ Yet he is growing up so fast. He keeps trying to get me to help him wiggle his teeth, cuz he still has yet to lose one. He is reading at the 2nd grade level his teacher says and has been sending home harder books for him. He loves to read. Could sit there forever. He really does great in all his homework. It is something he is excited about. For now that is... LOL. Next week he also starts basketball at the YMCA and will actually be playing 5 on 5 games and practices. I am so sick of these clinics for younger kids where they seem to learn nothing for all the money we pay... So hopefully this goes better. He loves basketball and can't wait. Games are every saturday for anyone who wants to come watch.

Landyn will be turning 5 in December. And what does that mean to me??? Another kid out of daycare next fall. Yes, it has come to that being my excitement... When it costs $700 a month for 2 kids fulltime and one b4 and after school. It gets costly. I do have to say it is cheaper in wooster than it ever was in Cleveland, than goodness. Back to Landyn, he is growing up so fast too, yet his little devil on his shoulder just keeps growing up with him. LOL. He is still so mischievious, and so sweet at the same time. He has my crooked grin. Unlike Ashtin, I can barely get Landyn to sit down and practice his writing and math. So he will be my struggle.

And then there is mommys little baby... LOL Gavin is growing up into Landyn. God help me. He is such a little stink........... He thinks if he just grins at me he is golden and gets away with everything. That is probably my own fault. Yet he is catching on to the boys quick and is anxious to learn and be just like his big brothers. So that could help in the future. Gavin will be 4 in January. Yes, I do have 3 birthdays and Christmas in the next 3 months.... UGH.

So onto me now a days.... I have good ones, and bad ones. Money sucks, I have gained some weight back from being unhappy, and I just feel overwhelmed ALOT. Yet on a good note. I got a new Van with the help of Max. He found a good deal, and I still owe him some, yet it came right when I needed it.I have the best family in the world. Everyone has been so much help with the boys, and just seem to know right when I need a break. We never go without the most important things, and noboday would ever let me fail. Matt, seems to be a saint most days. He has a prego wife, 3 on the way, and still does his best at helping me with everything. Especially a listening ear.... Nobody really knows but him. And thankfully for Matt & Terri I have really made some great friends and they too have just been amazing support. So overall, that is what gets me through the days. Something that I have tried hard lately to remember is that, I am allowed to have bad days or just have days where it hurts. Yet if I let that take over me and who I am, I will get lost in it. I need to stay positive for me, and if that doesn't rub off on others, I can't let it bring me down too. I have to seperate myself from the negotivity and push through it. Because being mad, angry, and just feeling hateful everyday is not going to make it better. So those others can stay that way, and they can live that way, I will just seperate myself from it and be better than that and that will show my children the right way to live.

So, what is next. I have no frickin idea. Yet I do know that I want it to be a new year with some sunshine and grace. Nobody is going to be interested in this fat girl whom is depressed. So, I am working on me. And hopefully someone along the way will make me believe that there is unconditional love without me screwing it up....LOL