Is anyone listening??? Has anyone ever been Lisening really????

As I sit here with so many thoughts going through my mind I wonder which is the one that I am allowed to write about.... I had a conversation tonight that I have waited for, for over 13 years......... Someone hates what I went through, and they also can't move past it... So much of my life has been decided on that one moment in time, so much has been lost due to my insecurities and lack of trust. I daily look back and wish I had delt differently and wish I had moved on, yet I didn't. Now I look back on a life of regret and hate for myself for not allowing people I loved in and I may have missed some important things in life.... Did I miss my one "true love" or did I just miss out on an important person that could have made an impression on my life.... So many what ifs, yet I need to look to the future... I feel so much relief right now knowing that I am not the only one holding grudge or pain. I must make a change for myself. I have to care about what happens to me, how I feel about myself, and what will make me happy. I need love in my life and I need happiness. So from this day forward, I will work on me. Not ignoring things, not stuffing it all in, yet just me..... I need that to be happy.... So my goal, to be healthy and care how I look. I will start a life change on food, excercise, and how I see things..... I want to be happy with me. So, God I am back and I will be to see you soon. We spoke tonight, and we will be speaking alot more, and I will be relying on you to help me through this. I am going to put my faith where it needs to be.... Where I know it will be listened to. Thank you for being there for me tonight to not fall apart, yet to build from this.... Help me... I love you