Bad Mother

Horoscope
Nov 01, 2011

You need to be careful and patient on a day like today -- otherwise, you might find that you blow up or otherwise miss out on a great opportunity. Things are likely to pick up in a few days.

This is my day, this right there explained how I felt today, and here I read it on my blog page tonight.....

What makes a bad mother????

Is it that everyone around me feels that I can't discipline my own kids and does it for me, or is it that I just look like I need the help with desporation on my face...

Or maybe it's the comments like, "your mother is way too easy on you, cuz if you were my kid you'd have your ass beaten by now."  or maybe I am too easy and I am a pushover....

I constantly feel like I am the hated parent and I am always trying to not be too mean, yet when I get mad I blow up!!! I tend to give more chances, have more patience than others, and also not be so nerotic! Yet most of the time they exhaust me and I am wiped out and ready for a glass of wine by the end of the day!!! So maybe I'm doing it wrong.

When I spank my kids butt for telling me no on the 5th time or for smarting off to me, he tells me he hates me or that he doesn't love me, or that he wants his daddy or he is telling his daddy, that he hates living with me, and the best, "I'm gonna tell my teacher." So I can't spank my kids butt now for being bad, or yell at them for mouthing off???? UGHHHHHHH. I take things away, I yell, and I get so little respect.

So, others always joke that my kids are handfulls and wild & crazy!!! Yet I would love for someone to take a walk in my shoes for 1 month of no other spouse to have a break on bad nights, no relief or help 99% of the time I have them, and nor do I ask for help, and doing it all on my own with really shitty things happening in my life, and believe it or not, I never really had help ever. My ex spouse always sucked at marriage & kids, so I never had alot of help an hour and a half away. No weekend visits or much coming up to babysit. Hell the grandparents that lived 1 mile away never once kept them overnight or past 8pm while I would work and their dad laid in bed.... I have always done this alone with so little help, yet everyone is a critic.

I feel like I am failing at life already, and this makes me feel even less.... The 3 thing that makes me get up in the morning and the 3 things that make me believe that it can get better, and I am failing at them too....

So the past 2 days I have been frustrated cuz I felt like I had to do something that I didn't feel was right or good for the kids, and too my belief I was right about what would happen. So I have paid for the wrong mistake, yet had to do it because it was promised by the other half and I didnt want to be the hated parent as usual..... So I am alittle gloomy over no sleep and trying to keep kids happy and quiet so I have given in and not disciplined approperatly due to worry of loud crying & noise with the babies, yet I am not getting anywhere cuz I have to surpass them to keep them quiet. So how do I do this... How do I get them to learn without screaming and crying because I walk away. I cannot babysit my kids in their room every night until they fall asleep, yet I can't let them scream and cry. You can give them evil eyes, threats, and whatever else you want, yet they will never learn until actions are taken and they learn that you will win....

HELP HELP HELP HELP, I am growing weak and frustrated.....