Negativity

Have you ever tried to turn around every negative thought or feeling you have with a positive??? Well, you really start to realize how much of a downer you are.... So instead maybe I will just try to think before I speak or do and make it positive before it turns negative...  I know, easier said then done, but I have to find something to turn my pity parties into something positive rather than my misery.... I have the DNA that makes me so emotional and sappy so I let the bad stuff run..... So in order to make these changes, I am going to start with whom I surround myself with. All bad things that happen usually had a sign before that it was headed to disaster.....  I am a people pleaser and someone that grasps to anything that looks shiny on the outside!!! Well, not anymore.... That shiny thing was dangled and made me feel special for a moment even though I knew it was wrong... Then that shiny thing offered something I really needed. When I thought someone had my back, they didn't, yet I'm sure they hope I have theirs... Always, I let myself believe that because of those few moments you would have my back, but I was wrong.... I have such an issue with trust and feel that everyone always lets me down, but not anymore..... Everyone only looks out for themselves and why shouldn't I?? I will be nice and positive and let nobody in to stay protected... That's safe, that will keep me out of trouble, that will keep my heart from hurting anymore... So when people wonder why I'm always so closed off, you can thank all those that chipped away at my trust and heart.... Is this what I want, No... Is this what I need to get past, Yes.....