I was driving home from Ashland last night, and really starting to get down and I just couldn't stop crying. I started to think of all the reasons that I did not want to come home and what the week may bring. So like alot of people do, I plugged in my ipod and started looking up music that would fit my mood. I turned on one of my favorite Kings of Leons songs, and was listening as I it went down the album. All of a sudden I hear the warm voice of James Taylor. It seemed to come at a great time. That was the next artist on my playlist or "purchased on my iphone." As I listened to him sing, it just calmed me right down. "Won't you look down upon me jesus, you gotta help me make a stand. You've just got to see me through another day. My body's aching and my time is at hand, I won't make it any other way." "My back turned towards the sun, Lord knows when the cold wind blows it will turn your head around."You think something is as worse as it can get, yet things could always get worse. I have to put my foot down, stop feeling sorry for myself, and make the good in the situation shine through. The choices I am making in my life right now are the best for me and my children, and I need to keep remembering that. There will be a better day, and there will be better things in the future to come our way. Something that my aunt sent me the other day:
"To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did." When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
I love this, it comforted me so much, yet I let it slip my mind so easily, just like other positive things in my life...... I need to keep positive and do positive things for myself and my kids. If they see me all upset and stressed, it is going to make this situation just as hard for them.....
So today I got on the computer to check all my stuff, instead of using my phone, and while on someone elses facebook page I saw a link to a blog of someone they knew. I decided to check it out. While on there, it was just so beautiful and full of what I needed. How did I come to this page? Was I led to it because I needed to hear what it was saying? Was it someones plan? Things I asked myself, and this is one of the beautiful things that I read:
"Perhaps you need to look up and around instead of back and down. Lift your eyes and see the amazing future which bursts with hope for in you God. Don't spend your life mourning over what you have lost and what is already gone; take an inventory of what you have left and keep going, one foot in front of the other, one step of faith at a time. Remember, God is on your side."
I have forgotten this, and maybe that is what has made my road alittle harder. So for me this week, I am trying to stay positive, I am trying to be thankful for what I have, I am going to be ok.....
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