Sunday, October 16, 2011
After all this time.
I lay here not wanting to get out of bed, last night it took me so long to fall asleep with memories running through my head. I grew up here, I worked here, I learned to water ski here, I lived here in the summer, I met lifetime friends here, I had so many firsts here, and they all contain you. This place brought us together which I thought was going to be my ever after... Then I come to see fairytales are not real and you still get a heart break. And I wonder why I have zero trust in life and have so much heartache. So as I laid here last night I remembered all the good and got sad to all night tears, yet you don't deserve my tears. Only my memories do... Life is full of regrets and mistakes, yet moving past them seems to be the hardest part of life.. So if being feet from my kids and not being able to spend time with them for 2 days is what I have to do to be happy, then so be it.... Because I am their world of security, love, and constant nuturing, not you. I am the sober clean one that does whatever it takes. Knowing all of that is bigger than those memories..... So now I am going to get up and walk these paths and remember the good and what it gave me....
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